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June 22, 2007
There's an Entrepreneur in Each of us!
Now I don't know if the fact that I've gone off and written my own book, published it myself, and begun developing spin-off products has anything to do with it, but I think my kids have become entrepreneurs.  Last month my Homeowner's Association had a craft fair.  Both kids really got into it.  My son baked homemade dog biscuits out of all healthy natural products, and cat beds, my daughter created homemade cards.  Next, my daughter has decided that she would like to go to Sea Camp this fall in San Diego.  Her Dad and I discussed it (yes, we have those kinds of conversations and decide together), and decided that yes she could go, but she has to raise the money herself.  We discussed it because we feel like if we don't, she could go off asking one parent, and if she doesn't like the answer go to the other.  As I said, we mutually decided she could go if she raised the money.  Well, it's $1,000.  So far she has about $250.  So last week she decided that maybe she could capitalize on swimming season.  After all we live in a complex with a pool, and both of my kids are on swim team.  So we're at the pool A LOT!  She decided to sew hooded towels.  They aren't terribly complicated, but they really are wonderful to swimmers when they get out.  She's come up with a calculation that if she sells about 100 of them she will not have to sell anythng else.  So far, she has sold 7!  Sooooo, if you are interested in helping a child raise some money for Sea Camp, just email me at info@acpublicationsgroup.com, and I'll send you the info on hooded towels.  Oh, and of course if you are interested in homemade peanutbutter dog biscuits or a cat bed, you can email me for that too, because after all, equal-time right?

June 21, 2007
Single Parent
Single Parent. That is a title that I have often disassociated myself with.  There are certainly times that I feel like I have my hands full, but I would never consider myself a single parent.  My ex comes to swim meets every Saturday, goes to teacher conferences, has the kids 3 days a week, and in 8 years, has never once failed to pay his fair share.  No, I'm not a single parent.  In some ways I have the best of all worlds.  I have someone to co-parent with (no, we don't always see eye to eye), someone to help pay the bills when the needs arise, and yet I get several days a week all to myself to rejuvinate myself and make myself the best mom possible.  I started thinking about this because I mentioned to an acquaintance that I was going to be speaking at the Parents Without Partners National Convention in July.  I made no other mention of my ex, and yet somehow word got back from this aquaintance to my ex, that he "wasn't very involved with his kids".  The only reference I even remotely made was to this conference.  Again, I don't see myself as a single parent, but I am a "parent without a premanent live-in partner".  Hmmm.  I guess it's a matter of perspective. As they say, you never know somebody until you've walked a mile in her shoes. 

June 17, 2007
So It's Father's Day

I know........these holiday things can be a big pain in the you know what!  It's hard to know what the right thing to do is.  Do you help your kids pick out a gift for Dad?  Do you insist that it's Father's Day, and so she really should give up her time so they are with you?  Do you call him up and say, "What's up with not taking your own kids for Father's Day?"  I suppose all of these things come into play on a day like today.  Here's what I say.  It's really not about you.  It's about teaching your kids to be respectful young people.  That means you help them go shopping, or make a card, or whatever you can bring yourself to do.  Then you politely offer to let the kids go, or politely request their presence.  I know it can realy be tough spending money on someone you'd rather didn't exist on the planet anymore.  But.........for the kids.  Put your feelings aside, and do the right thing.  It will payoff in the long run.  Maybe not with the ex, but somewhere down the line.  Your kids will grow up knowing that sometimes it's best to do the right thing even if it grates a little!


June 10, 2007
Split Family Graduation Party
I went to a pioneer party this weekend.  Well actually it was a graduation party.  It was a special party in the fact that it was for one of my good friend's son.  I've known him since he was 3, before his parents were divorced.  Then they got divorced and did an every other week split, which was pioneer material at the time.  There were lots of rough spots along the way.  Both she and her ex remarried, so there were step-parent issues.  The ex actually remarried a second time and now has a two-year old.  Her husband the step-father was also divorced and had his own kids and ex wife to contend with.  It was a lot to keep track of.  Honestly, I'm surprised they made it.  There were times that I thought the dad and the step-dad were surely going to come to blows.  My friend just stayed the course and kept making decisions that were in her son's best interest.  Her new husband often didn't understand, as he wasn't able to do that with his ex-wife.  Anyway, the short of it is they had a lovely graduation party together.  Everyone was cordial, and I felt very little tension in the room, certainly none from any of the step-parents and so on.  I had a nice conversation with the step-dad at the end of the day.  He said, "You know, when I was going through it, I could hardly stand it.  I'd wonder, 'why does she put up with that, or do this or that,' and she'd always say 'it's about my son, not my ex'.  But now, I see that what she did worked and that her way was much better than the other way.  I'm glad we worked through it."  What a testimonial............and I'm glad because she was the inspiration when I found myself floundering down the divorce track.  I hope we inspire others to do the same.

June 7, 2007
A new haircut? Who knew it would be controversial with my own kids!
So lots of things are changing in my life.  I guess they always are.  However I was in the mood to look different, and I didn't just want a new outfit.  So I went in to the hairdresser and told him, "Today is your lucky day.  You get to do whatever you want!"  I gave him the boundires of no shaving my head bald and no chemicals.  He cut off the length and gave me a delightful style that says, I'm a fun, sassy, sexy, but still a Mom woman!  By not giving him constraints, he managed to do something that is so fitting to my face and personality.  I should have done it a long time ago.  It's amazing what happens when you let go of a little fear once in a while.  Then came picking up the kids.  My son started laughing in nervousness.  My daughter feigned fright!  My son came to me the next day and said, "Mom, I really like it, it just took me a minute to get used to it."  My daughter still doesn't understand why everyone is raving about how great it looks.  I guess to her, the longer locks were part of how she identified with me.  She doesn't look at me in startlement anymore, but if asked, she'll still tell you it was better before.  The old me would have probably been disturbed that she didn't like it.  The new, stronger me, says.........well, we all have our preferences, and this is mine.  I like it!  It suits me just fine.

June 3, 2007
Publicity Machine
People are always asking me, "how are book sales?"  My answer is usually something like, "it's kind of like the race of the tortise and the hare, and my book is the tortise.  Sales are steady but slow, and I'm confident they will keep going."  Obviously word of mouth is the best tool I could have.  Many of you have shared my information with your own friends and families.  It is important to keep doing so, as so many kids are suffering along, and a tool like this one could really help.  Another thing I've done is tried to contact other bloggers that I think my book would fit into their discussions.  Many have obliged me and mentioned the book in their blogs.  So if you have a tip or tool that you think might be worthy of me passing on, please let me know at info@acpublicationsgroup.com.   Also, if you know of a blog or other entity that should know about this book or website, please let them know, or let me know.  Lastly, if you are at all into marketing anything and are trying to generate some publicity, The Publicity Hound is a great resource for lots of free information.  You can get there from here: http://tinyurl.com/29jcpvEven better than that is the Publicity Hound University that is going on next week. 
http://tinyurl.com/3y8f8v This is a remote class that will teach you everything you or your assistant needs to know about generating publicity.  It is a bargain for all of the info you will gain!  If you decide to go, by all means let me know what you think!   Meanwhile, keep the word going, it is by far the best publicity anyone could ask for.

June 2, 2007
Vacation??
Well I dropped off the kids last night.  They are leaving for 9 days with their Dad.  They're going on a cruise.  Why is it that every time they go on vacation, I think of all the things I'm going to get done.  I imagine no homework, no swim team practice, no packing lunches, no cleaning up messes.  Then the big day comes and I sit around like a slug.  This time is especially bad because they will be out in the middle of the ocean and I will have no contact with them whatsoever.  It's hard taking care of two little people and then suddenly having them evaporate into the ocean.  I guess I need to take my own advice and take some time for ME.  I'm going to spend today catching up on laundry and paperwork.  Tonight I might head out dancing.  Tomorrow, I'm going to lounge by the pool with a good book.  Not a kids book either!



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